Making Your Mind Up: Scooch go to Finland - Wogan gaffes

After subjecting BBC audiences to over a week of Comic Relief Does Fame Academy, the torture continued last night with Making Your Mind Up.

This show produced another song that will struggle to get any votes at this year's Eurovision Song Contest in Helsinki.

Terry Wogan's wigmaker had put in some effort this year and had produced a nice new shiny number for show's presenter. But no one else had put in any effort. Fearne Cotton co-hosted with Wogan. Her attendance is now the kiss of death for whatever she shows up on. Her recent efforts have included Love Island and Top of the Tops which have both been given a decent burial.

The six contenders this year included one guy who looked like an OAP on a Sunday outing. A French woman had been parachuted in to sing a plagiarized version of The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond.

The BBC's shambolic effort was reduced to farce when Terry Wogan announced Cyndi was the winner. Then Fearne Cotton told viewers that Scooch had won. The BBC has not yet explained what went wrong although it has confirmed that Scooch are the winners.

Scooch's uninspiring pop song and its smutty lyrics will not bother the scorers much in Helsinki in May. And Terry Wogan and the other BBC presenters will put their failure down to political voting across Europe.

Let's hope that the BBC take Wogan off to wash out his ears and get his eyes tested before they put him on the plane to Finland.