Jon is rumbled
Jon came back to the Big Brother House, determined to stir things up.
He went a bit to far singing the praises of the Mona Lisa.
"And the thing about Cardiff is it's filled with people like Lisa, and it's one of the reasons I go there as often as I can," he said.
"Why would you subject yourself to that?" asked Cameron.
"Because they're the first people I call, people like Lisa."
"What do you mean, like Lisa?" Cameron asked, demonstating he should have been a barrister.
"What is Lisa like?" Steph added, joining in the fun.
"Bags of fun."
"How do you know?" Ray asked, deciding it was time to join the attack.
"How do you know how much fun Lisa is?" Cameron added.
"From what I've heard you say..."
"Rubbish," Cameron stated.
"S**t, s**t... Shut up, let's move onto something else."
A Midsummer Night's Scream - by Jon Tickle
Two bedrooms both alike in dignity
In fair Elstree where we lay our scene
From ancient conflict break to new co-operation
Whose uncouth mouths, made civil tongues unclean.
From forth the fetid beds of these two rooms
A dozen housemates take their prize
Whose adventurous piteous diet
Doth with their dumps destroy Big Brother's loo.
The fearful passage of their deadly poo
And the continuance of their awful food
Which but for the game show's end could nought remove
Is now two hours forgotten on our stage
The which, if you with patient ears attend,
Should compensate our laugh to you we lend.
Did God create Man or did Man create God?
Jon the Philosopher said: "All God does is fill in the gaps of what people don't understand about how the world works."
Jon and marriage
"If I could marry myself, I would."
Jon and the Carnot cycle
Jon spoke to Big Brother about the air conditioning.
After leaving the diary room, Jon revealed the conversation to his housemates: "I explained I was a physicist not of any small intellect.
"An air-conditioning unit is just the physical manifestation of the Carnot cycle, which is talking about heat exchange between two closed systems."
Federico asked: “What did Big Brother say?”
Jon and dressing for cricket
Jon told the housemates that he dressed up as Britney Spears to attend a cricket match.
Every year he watches England play at Edgbaston in Birmingham and wears fancy dress with his pals.
Jon said: "Saturday at Edgbaston is when we go. Something always happens. We dress up every year. I remember one year I was Britney Spears and another year was a Star Wars theme."
Steph said: "When you said 'dress up' I thought you meant a shirt and tie!"
Scott asked: "Have you ever been on telly?"
Jon replied: "Oh yeah. When I was Britney Spears we were walking into the ground all dressed up and our mobile phones all went of at the same time. They were saying 'you are on the TV right now'. It is a great atmosphere, you drink for about eight hours and you see 40 or 50 percent of the game but somehow you see about 70 percent of the wickets. Then you go out drinking afterwards."
Steph said: "I see. It is more the social thing than watching all the cricket."
Scott added: "It sounds a laugh, I'll have to come with you."
Jon evicted in the fourth week
Jon was one of two housemates to be evicted in the fourth week.
Durung his stay in the Big Brother House he had made 130 visits to the diary room.
Davina asked him about "Mary" who had made several appearances in the tabloids. Jon said she was not his girlfriend.
Davia told Jon that The SUn had patented the Tickle Toaster for him. Jon, of course, had already looked into doing this but had decided not to.
Jon up for eviction for second time
Jon was nominated for eviction for the second time in the second week. He collected nominations from Cameron, Gos, Justine, Nush, Ray and Scott.
He said: "I'm not going to let it ruin the whole week so let's get on with it and pass the Cub Scout test."
He took his cup of tea out to the garden to stand by the pool and reflect.
He later said: "I'd rather it was happening to me than to someone I like in here."
Jon was saved from eviction when 57% of the viewers voted to evict Justine.
The Sun patents the Tickle Toaster
The Sun newspaper has patented the Tickle Toaster to stop an unscrupulous spiv patenting the idea while Jon is locked up in the Big Brother House.
Jon explained his invention to the housemates. The toaster keeps the second slice toasting while the first is buttered.
Jon said: “What’s the problem with toast? Two slices pop up, you whip one out, spread the margarine. But by the time you get the second, the consistency has changed. Why not have a time delay?”